Screenplay & Storyboard Feedback

I decided to construct a vox pop and interview  people that had read our screenplay and storyboard. I chose to do this with three 17-year-old students as they members of our target audience, so it would be beneficial for us to get an insight into what elements make our media text enjoyable to our market. I also chose to interview an adult female, as I thought it would be interesting to discover whether or not people above the age of 18 actually enjoy 'certified 15' pieces of media, and consider watching them over 'certified 18' media texts. This was so that we could consider enlarging our target audience, as most independent short filmmakers strive for their short films to reach as many people as possible.

Strengths of our narrative

• The idea of a repetitive process using flashbacks.
• How the bullying and negative imagery progresses throughout the short film.
• The statistics, solidifying the theme/meaning of the short film and providing a clear message.
• The relation to modern teenage society - people have phones and engross technology and social media, which is portrayed in our short film. This shows the reality of cyberbullying and magnifies the issue highlighted in the media text.

Weaknesses of our narrative

• The order of text messages - ensure that it carries on building instead of reaching a peak and depreciating.
• Exact repetition of the flashbacks - each flashback could slightly differ from the last

Unclear areas in our narrative

• The absence of a suicidal note saying goodbye to family/friends.

We decided not to do this in order to intensify the actuality of tragic events like these being undetected and occurring suddenly/unexpectedly.

Target:

Our next step would be altering our screenplay with this feedback in consideration, and finalising our storyboard to ensure that it follows the screenplay.